by Miss S. Roberts
Darling Muppet,
When you came into my life I felt you were a Gift from God. My baby dog Benji had gone to sleep and I was split in two. I didn’t take to you at first. I missed my Ben so much, but there was no way I could resist your little ways. You were so tiny; your sweet little eyes, your waggy tail; I couldn’t help but love you. You faced so many health problems over the years but you never complained. I know you were fed up of seeing the vets but you never questioned anything, you just put all your trust in me. Despite being small, you were fearless. You’d check who was at the door, check them out before they came in and I’ll never forget how you chased a burglar out of the house when I was in alone. I owe my life to you. Never have I had a more loyal, faithful, true friend. My love for you runs so deep.
I miss seeing you sleeping in your dog bed next to my bed, you snuggling on my bed laying nose to nose with me. You wouldn’t get up until I did in a morning, wouldn’t go to sleep at night until I did. I miss you jumping about excitedly when you saw the lead and knew it was time to go out. Every time there’s a knock at the door, I get up to pick you up to stop you running to the door, only to realise you’re not there. Every time the mail comes, I expect you to rush for the mail box, jumping up to sniff the mail. I used to love buying you new dog things. Now I just go past the pet aisles thinking how you’d have loved those things, how I can’t treat you any more. I loved our cuddles, staring into your big brown eyes – how frisky you’d get after a bath. You’d dig your nose into my shopping bags to sniff what I’d bought. You’d be in the dog chews before I had it unpacked.
I miss the jingle of your dog collar as you ran through the house, how you loved to be brushed for hours. You’d never eat until I ate too. Now I sit alone at mealtimes – eating, looking at your empty dishes. I know you were 10 when I found you. Our time together was short but I know I had God to thank for the time I had with you; he brought us together.
When the moment came that I knew I was going to lose you, I didn’t want to let you go. What is a life without you? I wanted to hold on to you tight. My love for you was so great that I didn’t want you to suffer. You were not well and I did this for you, as everything I’d ever done was for you; my whole life was built around you. I know you didn’t want to leave me. You were scared but I had to let you go to God. Now I cry. I grieve. I think of you. Your things remain in the same old spots; the house is full of your memories. I promised I’d stay with you right to the end, promised I’d keep your memory alive. No-one can ever replace you. You will always be my best friend.
I hope you know how loved you were. I hope you’re pain-free and happy now. I pray one day I’ll come to you. We’ll meet; you’ll run to me excitedly when you see me, I’ll fill you with hugs and kisses. Until then, I have memories of our special times. I hope you’re looking down on me from heaven and when we’re back together we’ll never be parted again.
I miss you so much. It’s so hard living without you. I will always love you.
You wait for me my beautiful princess.
Love, Mummy
xxxxxx
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Interview with Maxine Sinclair of ‘PET BEREAVEMENT
DF17 carried an article from the Luton & Dunstable Herald & Post about Pet Bereavement, the area’s first counselling service for people who have lost their pets. DF editor Debby Wakeham met with Pet Bereavement founder, Maxine Sinclair:
DF: It is good to know that this service has started in Luton. What does ‘Pet Bereavement’ offer?
MS: We can arrange for cremation of your pet, or refer for burial. If people want to bury their pets in the garden, we can help by arranging for people to go into the garden of pensioners and dig a hole. We can organise a burial service and provide plaques with holes for fresh flowers; we get these from the manufacturer in bulk. The flower containers are made from cast iron with a stainless steel lid.
DF: The telephone service currently costs 60p a minute. Isn’t this rather expensive for some people?
MS: Yes. We are hoping to get funding for a freephone number for our telephone listening service.
DF: How are you publicising your services?
MS: We have sent posters to vets and the Animal Hospital in Hemel Hempstead. We are in Yellow Pages (entry reproduced below – ed.) covering Luton, Stevenage, Bedford and Central London. We also wrote to K9 Magazine, Battersea Dogs Home and SCAS (Society for Companion Animal Studies), who wrote a supportive reply saying they would keep a note of our details and refer people to us where appropriate.
DF: What are your plans for the future?
We are eligible for Government funding, which we hope will be available from August. Once we have funding, we will be advertising. We would like to set up part-time befrienders in the home. We want to hold monthly meetings for people are grieving – possibly at The Spires. If people are grieving they often want to talk. We would like to go on the internet. At present, we cover Beds., Herts and Bucks. We would also like to cover Central London.
Looking long-term, it would be good to acquire a plot of land, where people can also be buried, if they wish, with their pets.
PET BEREAVEMENT INFORMATION SERVICES
Has Your Pet Died? Or Suffering Illness?
Need To Arrange Collection Of Your Pet?
Offer Support/Help, Inc. Burial Services
Open 8.30-7.30pm Mon-Fri, 9-12pm Sat & Sun
Tel: 09068 020164 Charged At 60p Per Min
The Spires, Adelaide St., Luton, Beds.
Contact Pet Bereavement for a leaflet or more information. (See Resources section at the end of this newsletter). Maxine is also writing a book: Guide to coping with Pet Bereavement.
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TRIBUTE TO AMBER
by Celia Francis
Mum and Dad were so sad when their cat Blackie died. Darling Blackie, all black with a white tip at the end of his tail. They took him in as a stray and he was so thankful for a kind and loving home. Mum said: ‘No more – it’s too heartbreaking.’ But a few months later, a lady died and Mum and Dad took her cat in – “Amber”.
She was a tortoiseshell eight-year-old. She was very timid. She would run under the table if the telephone rang or spend half the day under the bed. But she soon adapted and when my dad’s eyesight grew worse until he could barely see, she would always rub up to him and make a noise to let him know she was there. Dad and Amber were good friends.
Sadly, 18 months ago, my dad passed away. Amber was then about 14, leaving Mum and Amber for companionship. Then, just a year later, tragedy struck again. Amber became ill, but for six months and regular visits to the vets, she did well. But last week she took a turn for the worse and nothing more could be done. Mum took Amber to the vets and cried as she was put to rest.
It’s just Mum now, and we’re here to help her and see her every single day. And darling Amber will be with my dad now – two good friends together.
A BUNCH OF LILIES KILLED MY PET CAT
A cat owner has begun a national awareness campaign after his pet was killed by a bunch of flowers. John Hartnett’s 13-year-old Siamese, Catalina, became ill minutes after brushing against a vase containing oriental stargazer lilies he bought for his wife. Catalina licked lily pollen off her fur and became virtually paralysed. Within hours, her kidneys failed and she went blind. The couple took her to a vet but there was nothing he could do. The animal died hours later.
‘She endured a vile death,’ said Mr Hartnett… ‘She was suffering terribly. I blame myself but the vet we took her to said there was just no chance to save her.’
Research has found that all lilies are dangerous to cats and just one leaf can kill. The RSPCA, which said it had seen an increase in cases, has pledged to support Mr Hartnett’s campaign to make vendors issue warnings on the flowers.
from Metro, 6 May 2005
IN PASSING….
One morning, as I was on my way to the station to catch a train to work, I noticed three young Afro-Caribbean girls aged about 12, walking in front of me. Suddenly, they stopped in their tracks, looking at the ground. One of the girls made the Sign of the Cross.
I looked down to see what had caught their attention. Three tiny, featherless, baby birds were lying dead on the pavement. They had obviously fallen out of their nest. One of the girls said, softly: “Why did they have to die?”
Debby Wakeham
ANIMAL COMMUNICATORS
Some people claim to be able to communicate with members of other species. In DF no. 1, I told the story of Spirit, the white pony, and how I had a premonition as I got out of the car at the stables, that she was dead. Everyone loved her, but one woman in particular, whom I shall call Joyce, was (like me) particularly attached to her. Joyce only ever visited the stables at weekends, but one Thursday she got an overwhelming urge to go there. On arrival, she noticed that all was far from well and was able to alert the owners to get immediate veterinary attention for Spirit and the others who had been accidentally poisoned by drinking the contaminated water. Is it too fanciful to suppose that Spirit was able to link telepathically with Joyce to get help, and then with me to let me know that she had left this earth?
One especially good book about interspecies communication is Straight from the Horse’s Mouth by Amelia Kinkade. (See Resources section, ed.) Amelia was initially sceptical, but not only came to believe in it but to practise it herself. Her book shows you how you, too, can learn to have telepathic conversations with members of other species.
Animal communicators offer their services to all manner of clientele. For example, Anne Wilson is an inter-species communicator and therapist living in South West London. She takes commissions from zoos and wildlife parks, racehorse and competition horse trainers, private animal collections, rescue centres and pet owners. By tuning in to an animal’s energy field, Anne is able to obtain valuable information which can save a vet or handling team time and money, and an animal unnecessary discomfort. She can also advise the team on the animal’s feelings about its handling, living accommodation and routines. Anne is also able to communicate with animals who have passed on. She says these animals often return with messages of comfort for the humans they have left behind.
Consultations cost £40 an hour; the first one usually lasts 2 hours. Anne will tell you what to bring with you. If you can’t bring the animal, you may be asked to take along photographs, hair samples and information on the animal, such as date of birth or approximate age. For details of how to get an appointment with Anne, see the Resources section at the end of the newsletter.
YOUR LETTERS ……” *
Thank you for sending me your Departed Friend newsletters. I can see a lot of hard work researching and editing goes into it all.
It is a great comfort to many people to know that someone cares and understands the upset and sorrow we all experience when losing someone we love – an animal can be a very close friend in many ways and your newsletter shows all of this eloquently.
Thank you very much for putting my details on the newsletter under the memorials. It is much appreciated.
- Lynne Milford
Mrs L Milford
PET MEMORIES
I received the items you sent me, the newsletters and the book of poems…. I have sent you a poem and a photo of my dog and would like it if you could place them in your magazine. (see p.1)
I was very moved by the poem of Ella Meah. It is everything I’d like to say but can’t put into words.
- Miss S Roberts
I do find that reading about other people’s experiences does help. It was a month ago on Monday that my husband and I lost Lister and I don’t think a day has gone by where I haven’t cried, it has been so hard as it was such a shock to lose him so suddenly to cancer. We will have his sister, Tails, and she has been a great help. She is such a loving, gentle cat and I call her my little limpet as she is never very far from me! She has her own problems though as she is diabetic and we only found out in March, so we are still getting used to the new food and insulin injections, but she is such a placid cat that she has adapted very well.
On a lighter note, we are going to collect a new kitten tomorrow. His name is Charlie (apparently he earnt this name as he is a ‘proper Charlie’) and he is all black, so hopefully he will grow up as nice as your Blackspur looked. It is strange how life turns out – I started putting the feelers out last week for a kitten, thinking it would be a few weeks yet before one came up, and I had a phone call from our vets the very next day. Hopefully he will cheer us all up with his antics, we have felt so odd being a ‘3’ these last few weeks as for 11 years we were always a ‘4’, and without children, the cats are our babies.
- Samantha Shott
Thanks for the newsletter. It’s just what I expected and more… I think that the way you say goodbye to your cats is very special. Words are inadequate in describing the absolute emptiness and loss felt when a beloved pet dies, but the picture you paint of the tea lights and flower shows the respect and deep love for your animals, and they are always with you…
You asked how I found your site – it was by accident! … I started studying part time for an HND in Animal Management. One of my modules this year has been ‘Animal and Human Interaction.’ I was researching attitudes to animal welfare in different cultures and religions and I found a link to your site and I thought I’d take a look, particularly as my big, beautiful, hairy, dozy, lazy, grey teddy bear of a Persian, Ollie, was put to sleep in January after coping with renal failure for 3 years. He was also the most handsome cat ever – well in my opinion anyway – … If I’d known about the site at the time, it would have been a comfort. If I can help at all with anything, let me know and I’ll do what I can.
Would you like any articles or poems at all? I work at a veterinary surgery and until recently I was also involved with Cats Protection, and that was very rewarding as well as sad. Until I worked at the vets, I hadn’t appreciated that the gift that veterinarians have, i.e. euthanasia, can be a very meaningful and spiritual experience for the owner. Do you mind if I take photocopies of the newsletter, I think to leave some copies in our ‘Reflections Room’ (our equivalent of a chapel of rest for animals) at the vets would be appreciated by clients who have lost their pets. We have a book of remembrance where we encourage pictures, poems, letters to celebrate the animals’ life. We also include in the book any wild or stray injured animals that come in but are too badly hurt to have a decent quality of life.
Recently, when one pet (Molly the cat) died after a long illness, the owner (a C of E vicar) brought all his family including his remaining pets to sit with her for a while.
The only trouble with working for both Cats Protection and a vet is that you end up with quite a few animals that nobody wants – they are either psychopaths or have bits missing!! I specialise in cats, we have a vet nurse with eight dogs and another nurse with a mixture of deaf dobermann, dachshund, rabbit and guinea pig. We’re working on the receptionist – she’s only got a small dog and two cats so far.
- Judith Williams and:
Noah (frightened of his own shadow)
Mustard (hates cats)
Daisy (part of lower jaw missing)
Pipsqueak (broken nose and snores)
Bobbit (3 legs & thinks he can conquer the world)
Simon (stray that moved in 2 days before Christmas – seems to be normal so far – fingers crossed)
And I wouldn’t swap any of them……..
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