Cheeky Monster R.I.P.
22nd Jan ‘07
by Julie Hasler
Cheeky Monster was a very special cat indeed. Blind from birth, he coped so well and led a very fulfilling life and enriched my life so much too. He was an extremely intelligent cat with a BIG personality. Everyone who met him fell in love with him and we all miss him very much.
Defying all odds, ‘Cheeky Monster’ survived despite his disabilities and became very much ‘in charge’ of all the other cats here at the sanctuary.
Cheeky Monster had a very sad start to his life. I had him and his two litter mates ‘removed’ from a house in Welwyn Garden City where they had been badly neglected. They were about 8 weeks old and very sick when they arrived. They had immediate veterinary attention and began to perk up after a couple of weeks. But there was a problem. While the other two would play fight and chase things, Cheeky Monster would just stay in his bed and show no interest. After a couple more visits to the vets for severe conjunctivitis, an examination of the eyes revealed no retinal blood vessels present. My fears were confirmed. Cheeky Monster was blind. Informing me that there was also neurological damage the vet said that his advice would be to put him to sleep as he would have no quality of life. Well I flatly refused. He deserved a chance. He had made it this far.
When I found homes for his litter mates, he seemed a bit lost, so I took him everywhere with me. Even to the shops and friends’ houses. Gradually I introduced him to the other 13 cats here at the sanctuary, and that’s when he really blossomed. He followed them everywhere and soon learned to play, climb in and out of windows, climb up onto shelves and find his way everywhere. His other senses took over, his sense of smell, and his hearing were amazing, he could even catch flies and moths ‘mid flight’.
I would take him for supervised play sessions in the garden where he learnt to play with his toys. He would play ‘fetch’ with his ball just like a dog and drop it at my feet to throw for him again. He would listen for it, and follow the noise as it rolled down the garden, and pick it up in his mouth. You can see in the photographs. He was a real star and I miss him dearly.
He became ill shortly after Christmas ’06. I took him to the vets on 19th Jan, as he was depressed and quiet. The vet gave him blood tests which showed a raised white blood cell count, he also had a high temperature, but everything else seemed normal. He was given painkillers and antibiotics. His condition worsened, and I took him to the vets again on 22nd when he had further blood tests and X-rays on his abdomen which had become swollen and tender. Exploratory surgery was performed a few hours later and cancer was discovered throughout the abdomen involving all organs. It was an aggressive form of cancer which the vet said could spread rapidly within days or weeks. Cheeky Monster was not brought round from the anaesthetic for humane reasons and I held his paw while the vet performed the euthanasia. It was a terrible shock as we just thought he was ill and expected him home later in the day! It was awful. I miss him each and every day. He was just 7½ years old.
Our deepest sympathy to Julie in her loss. So many things made their bond very strong: Julie rescued him when he was small and helpless. She believed in him against all the odds and gave him a chance; the happiness he enjoyed during his life made it clear that this was the right decision and he richly rewarded her by giving her 7½ years of love and companionship. He had a fighting spirit and a big personality, which has left its deep impression. He was taken early, which is always hard to bear. May he rest in peace and may the pain gradually soften, leaving Julie with happy memories of their short, but unforgettable, time together.
KIND HEART, GENTLE HEART
Rescue the drowning insect; carry the snail
on the pavement to safety; return the helpless
worm, writhing on concrete, to the sanctuary
of Mother Earth.
Render help and kindness, wherever it is
needed, to all life, great or small. Suffering has
no boundaries, neither should compassion.
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Mourning the loss of a Companion Animal
Review of an article by Tania Woods of SCAS, (Society for Companion Animal Studies) published in Bereavement Care, Spring 2000
Bereavement Care is the journal of Cruse Bereavement Care, an organisation which helps people bereaved of a human loved one. This important article gives a brief history of the birth of the SCAS Pet Loss Support Service, raises awareness of the issues involved in animal bereavement and, although published in 2000, it is just as relevant today.
In 1990, SCAS published a booklet called Death of an Animal Friend (see ‘Resources’ below) which explores the processes of attachment and mourning, addressing the special issues in this kind of bereavement: the animal’s relatively short life; electing for euthanasia; lack of clearly established funerary rites and culturally legitimated expressions of grief. Orders for the booklet poured in, often accompanied by long letters painfully outlining the life and death of the deceased animal. It was obvious more was needed. So, in Summer 1993, SCAS organised a conference on pet loss and support for bereaved owners and, in February 1994, the telephone help-line (see ‘Resources’) was established. By February 2000, the service had taken 3,626 calls. Most are made by women of working age, living in a shared household. Most commonly (58%) the loss concerns euthanasia or impending euthanasia (5%) of a dog or a cat that has been owned, usually from an early age, for an average of 11 years. Most clients only call once. The call typically lasts 35 minutes and is generally made in the day or week following the loss, though calls can also peak on the weekly, monthly and annual anniversary of the animal’s death.
From the calls, SCAS was able to identify recurring themes: the animal as a special source of support; the client’s shock at the intensity of their grief; the importance of funeral rites; the question of acquiring a new animal and the involvement of the vet:
Well over a third of clients described a special relationship, its strength increasing with the length of time together and the degree of suffering experienced by the animal during its life. Often, the animal was the last link with a deceased human loved one. A third of all clients are surprised by the intensity of their grief, being totally unprepared and fearing that it might be unnatural or abnormal to mourn so intensely for an animal, some feeling it worse than the death of a parent or spouse. Many had sought help from the doctor for depression and sleeplessness. Ritual and funeral rites were important to many. Regardless of whether the deceased is to be buried, cremated or left at the veterinary surgery, it is important that they be treated with ritual significance, concern and respect. Some clients described their comfort at having seen or felt their animal in the house after its death. Some wanted to discuss the possibility of acquiring a new animal. Overcoming feelings of guilt and betrayal, some had already successfully introduced a new animal into the home; other believed in retrospect that they had done this too quickly and described initial difficulties in accepting or loving their new companion. [It has been observed that, whilst an individual animal can never be replaced, it is the dogness of the dog and the catness of the cat which may be replaceable]. A third of the casenotes made reference to the client’s perception of veterinary treatment. Most of these felt a sense of confusion or muddle surrounding the diagnosis or treatment of the animal prior to its death, the distress being compounded when euthanasia was involved. The decision to end life, even when the animal is suffering a terminal or degenerative condition, is frequently equated with murder and evokes a strong sense of personal responsibility and guilt. Often the distress is exacerbated by a belief that this has been either premature or unnecessary. When clients described the surgery as a ‘safe place’ and their vet as having done everything possible, the vet was almost always familiar, had communicated clearly and was felt to be approachable. Client needs during the illness and euthanasia centre on: time; familiarity; respect; honesty; clarity of diagnosis and prognosis; a supportive, kind reception and, above all, an explicable, dignified, peaceful and painless death.
The data from this analysis have been used in a continual process of reviewing and improving the Pet Loss Service and pointing to ways in which human and animal health care professionals can most effectively understand and aid the process of grieving – and is beginning to be used in training and interventions, to the benefit of both humans and companion animals.
Your Letters ………..……” *
Within 13 months, we have sadly lost two members of our family. As you know, on 5th November 2005 dear Chandni (Harish’s wife – ed.) sadly and suddenly passed away. On 14th November 2006, our 12 ½ year old cat, Tigger, sadly passed away from cancer of the bladder. We would like to thank the vet and his assistant for looking after our beloved cat Tigger who had given so much joy and pleasure for 12 and a half years. Her mum Ebony is still with us.
Harish and Rikesh Shah
Lovely, moving stories in last issue. Very pleased that Dr Vernon Coleman is on our side!
Helen Constance
RECYCLE YOUR MOBILE ANDHELP HORSES
Up to £10 will be given to Redwings Horse Sanctuary for every recyclable mobile phone or printer cartridge
Log onto http://www.recycleyourmobile.co.uk or Ring 0800 970 5097 quoting Redwings Appeal
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Tiggy’s poem
Be happy when you think of me.
Shed no tears. Be not downcast or sad,
but rather, let your mind stray free
to remember the good times that we’ve had.
I’m still here, though things aren’t how they used to be,
for we both know my earthly life is done.
But sometimes, if you look very carefully,
you’ll still see me in your garden,
sitting quietly in the sun.
Dennis Martin, January 2007
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Update from Ella Meah + tribute to Flossie
It seems such a long time since I contacted you, that I thought I would drop you a few lines to perhaps catch-up with one or two things, and also assure you how much I still enjoy receiving DF.
I cannot remember if I told you, Debby, but I had to have Flossie “put down” (I much prefer put-to-sleep) last November, 2005. (For an account of Ella’s dogs Timmy and Flossie, see DFs 11, 12 and 13 – ed.) Do you remember, I “adopted” Flossie two years earlier, in November 2003, from East Midlands Animal Rescue. She was 14 then but I fell in love with her so instantly, that age didn’t matter. I believe I sent you a photograph of her. All I can say is just as Timmy was before her, she was very, very special. I know that all our animals are special to each one of us, but I did have an extra place for Flossie.
Actually, she never licked me once in her life and used to give me an enigmatic stare – I feel she had gone through a lot in her life. I still walk the same walk I used to take her every morning, but alone, although I feel in spirit, she is always with me.
However, on a happier note, when I moved house to next door, my previous tenants had had 3 cats; one of them in particular used to come into my house, and purr round my legs. She is the sweetest natured cat, and did not get on with the other two, so when my tenants left, we all agreed that “Buffy” would be happier with me.
I never thought of myself as a “cat” person (I, of course, love all animals and try to fund-raise and promote animal welfare by lobbying etc.) but previously considered myself to be dog-orientated. Now though, I love her deeply. She is so affectionate, purrs so quickly whenever I am near her, and greets me every evening when I return from work, not being able to wait to spend the evening on my lap.
Although I would like another dog, I feel so attached to Buffy that I feel that the time is not right to bring one into our lives. (I think Buffy has worked her magic on me).
I still go to Greece twice a year and, of course, see Mary and all her animals when I go. She is a truly amazing person. She has acquired some more land and single-handedly erected fences, kennels and equipment in which to house them. I always send her copies of DF and I know she reads and appreciates them very much. (See DF 17 for Ella’s account of Mary Malissou’s rescue work and the animals of the Olga Malli Society).
May I again say now much I still enjoy receiving DF. It is so lovely to feel an affinity with so many in our empathy towards animals. All my very best wishes to you for 2007, with thanks and appreciation for all your work in relation to DF in the past years. Yours, with very kind regards, Ella and Buffy.
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Man’s Best Friend
St Mungo’s is London (England)’s leading homeless charity – in more ways than one. Created to offer help to homeless and vulnerable people, it has been going since 1969, providing over 1,400 safe beds every night and 100 projects covering a wide range of services.
St Mungo’s is proud to have been welcoming dogs into its accommodation for over 13 years. Research from The Dogs Trust shows that over 86% of homeless hostels across the UK refuse to accept people with dogs. This is a shameful statistic – which urgently needs to be addressed.
Many homeless people own dogs and face a real dilemma when looking for accommodation. Often the only source of companionship and comfort, the dogs are well cared for and dearly loved. In recognition of this, The Dogs Trust has launched an information pack: “Welcoming Dogs” aimed at organisations working with homeless people, to inform organisations which are considering whether or not to accept dogs.
St Mungo’s believes that by welcoming dogs into its hostels, it is not only respecting homeless people’s rights but also, by accepting dogs, there are fewer people sleeping rough.
Information from St Mungo’s Supporter Newsletter Autumn 2006
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Metro, a free distribution newspaper for commuters, often carries interesting short features relevant to issues covered by Departed Friend. It seems that they are slightly self-conscious about doing this, as they often use rather facetious headlines, as in the following article:
THE LORD IS MY GERMAN SHEPHERD…
Up to 140,000 dog owners will have a funeral for their pet when it dies, even playing the animal’s favourite songs, a new study says.
Many will follow the example set in the film Four Weddings and a Funeral by reading poetry or delivering a eulogy about the dearly departed dog.
Nearly half of owners do not let the vet dispose of the body when their animal dies, the study of 1,200 pet owners for Direct Line Pet Insurance revealed.
Of about 2.3 million pet dogs who are given a send-off, six per cent are given their own funeral – equivalent to 136,000 dogs, the survey showed.
More than half of the owners who hold a funeral say prayers, while 29 per cent lay flowers. One in five who bury their pets visits the grave every day. Chris Price, of Direct Line Pet Insurance, said: ‘Many people see their dog as one of the family.
‘This explains why 82 per cent of the dog owners who held a funeral said a proper service to mark their passing is the least they deserve after a lifetime of devotion.’
Metro, 15 February 2006
A TEST FOR PETS’ PAIN
Vets are developing tests, which they hope will allow humans to better understand how sick animals are feeling.
Researchers warn that millions of animals are getting the wrong treatment because vets are failing to read their behaviour correctly.
The tests, which evaluate an animal’s pain level and quality of life, will let vets and owners see the world from the animal’s point of view, the researchers say. A team at Glasgow’s Institute of Comparative Medicine has devised a checklist that can be used to work out whether a dog is in pain, New Scientist says.
Meanwhile, David Morton, of the University of Birmingham, is developing a system to help vets and owners decide whether an animal is suffering so much that it should be put down. It weighs indications of distress against positive signs, such as a dog wagging its tail.
Metro, 21 September 2006
BABOON BLUES
The baboon mourns like a human, a study has revealed. Researchers found stress hormones called glucocorticoids increased in baboons who lost close family members. When Sylvia the baboon lost Sierra, her closest grooming partner, she looked to friends for support, Dr Anne Engh from the University of Pennsylvania said. ‘With Sierra gone, Sylvia experienced what could only really be described as depression.’
From MiniCosm (the science page)
Metro, 31 January 2006
What’s in a name?
Where I used to work, there was another woman with the same name as mine, but there was no confusion because she insisted on being called ‘Deborah’ and not under any circumstances ‘Debby’ – while I was equally adamant that I was ‘Debby’ – no way would I answer to ‘Deborah’. We discussed the reasons for this:
To Deborah, the diminutive ‘Debby’ was a child’s name. She wanted to be recognised as an adult. To me, the full name was unduly formal, even hostile, reminding me of teachers who said ‘Deborah!’ in disapproving tones when they were annoyed. To me, ‘Debby’ equals friendly informality.
It’s the same with the terms we use to speak of our animal friends and our relationships with them. Do you describe a cat as a ‘moggie’ or a dog as a ‘pooch’? If not, why not? To some, these are terms of endearment, signifying their affection for the respective animals. To others, they are rather demeaning, trivialising names.
Do you ‘own a pet’ – or ‘share your home with a companion animal’? I must admit to personally being uncomfortable with the notion of ownership – but others may argue that money can change hands and the law recognises ownership. Again, the term ‘pet’ can be a token of affection – or a total misreading of what should be a more equal relationship founded on mutual respect.
Do you describe your beloved animals as your ‘babies’ or ‘members of your family’ or is that too anthropomorphic for your taste? Do you say: ‘The dog which was hungry barked its head off’ or ‘The dog who was hungry barked his head off’?
How do you describe euthanasia? In her article above, Ella Meah says that she much prefers ‘put to sleep’ to ‘put down’; for others, this might be too euphemistic.
There are no rights and wrongs; it is a matter of personal preference – just so long as we can be sensitive to others whose choice of words is different from our own.
Debby
Filed under: No. 27 Mar '07 |
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